What was it like to lose him?

Today..

Today I woke up. 

I sighed. 

I wanted to go back to sleep 

because 

I knew today would be like yesterday. 

...

..

.

Full of pain.

The rotten years..

I wonder, how many pills, or cuts, or accidents, or breakdowns, or panic attacks, or bad days, would it take to prove, I resemble a tree, I look strong on the outside, but when a part of me snaps, inside there is nothing left but my rotting years.